Life with a Bloodhound

My Mom was refilling a prescription for me this morning and the pharmacist said,
"Wow, I haven't seen a bloodhound around here in a long time." Yes, we are rare on the east coast and people really don't know all that much about us. When the pharmacist asked what life with a bloodhound was like, my Mom gave him her usual answer: we're loyal, loving, affectionate, funny, good with other dogs and kids, and so on. My Mom also thinks we're smart (she's so convinced of it, she and Dad even put a bumper sticker on our car!), although other bloodhound guardians may disagree. Anyway, I digress. Bloodhounds are very special dogs and living with one is an experience like no other. Here are some things to know before considering being owned by a bloodhound:

1. We are LARGE dogs. Not only do the bones of your feet get crushed when our large paws step on them, but we have an amazing ability to spread out on furniture in order to take up as much space as possible.
2. We can smell everything. Absolutely everything. Don't think that we're not going to notice you silently opening the jar of peanut butter. We will and will be right there demanding a spoonful (or the whole jar if we can get it).
3. Kitchen counters are our domain--anything on them is meant for us. The fresh baked cherry cake last summer? The leftover Thanksgiving turkey? MINE--all mine.
4. We bloodhounds like to express our opinions and do so often. We do not have a volume knob--only two settings: loud and louder. Placing hands over ears is futile.
5. We snore. Loudly. My snore can be heard on all three floors of our house. Mom can even hear it through her earplugs.
6. We like smelly stuff. Poop, trash, dead things on the trail--if it's there, we will get into it. With three million scent receptors in our distinguished snouts, who can blame us?
7. We have a distinctive houndly fragrance that no amount of Febreeze can mask. We spend weeks working on this smell, only to have to go back to the drawing board after bath day. I don't understand why humans shower every day...
8. The bloodhound appetite is legendary. Mom heard a story about a hound that ate a whole goat on a spit (spit included!) and lived to tell about it. Sounds yummy!
9. Many bloodhounds have second careers as interior designers, specializing in rope drool art. We fling drool onto furniture, onto walls and clothing... the possibilities are endless. Of course, the humans in the house don't appreciate our art and feel a compulsive need to wash the walls on a regular basis.

Now, I hope this doesn't put anyone off. Bloodhounds are really wonderful dogs. As Mom and Dad say, life would be very boring without us hounds to keep them on their toes.